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Ready, Set, GO!!!

Okay so you are going to transition and now you are going to get at it; at light speed if you can.  Do yourself a favour and put the brakes on.  There is absolutely no reason to rush because you have the rest of your life in front of you.

All too often the t-girl decides she is going to "git er done" so she begins by hunting for a "friendly" pdoc; one who will refer her after the first meeting if not after the first few.  After all, she is the one who is trans and she knows what she needs.  This is often a huge mistake that can lead to a failed transition.

First of all, the pdoc should be helping you sort out your life and the problems you created for yourself, then tear down the barriers you erected to protect yourself before going forward with transition.  It is generally accepted that if you say you are trans, the therapist will accept that.  S/he may question it over time to ensure you are genuine but overall, your self identification is enough.  The responsible therapist WANTS you to succeed in your transition.  They want to ensure you know yourself as well as have the necessary support systems in place for your success.  Those support systems include social (family and friends) as well as spiritual and last but not least; financial.  Transition is expensive.

The therapy can go quickly or can take years.  Generally anything less than a year is considered too fast.  Some therapists will not recommend you for transition if they believe you are not mentally healthy enough to follow through.  It is professionally responsible on their part and should indicate that you need to do a lot more work first.

Next of course is hormone therapy.  As I have said before, herbal treatments do not work despite anecdotal claims.  I have also stated that self medicating is potentially signing your own death certificate.  You have a fool for a patient.

Hormone therapy should ONLY be done under the close scrutiny of a medical doctor; preferably an endocrinologist but your GP can also perform this task with a little education.  It is not rocket science, it is physiology.  Still, you need to be aware of what the drugs are, their side effects, and dangers.  Let us not forget that after a period of time, many effects are irreversible.  There is no going back.  For the M2F it is chemical castration; make no mistake about it.  Yes you will grow breasts and hair and skin will become finer but you are also sterilizing yourself.  There is no going back.

Now to the REAL transition; the Real Life Experience.  This is transition.  HRT and surgery etc are secondary to this life altering time and it is one that should never be rushed or side stepped in any way.  If you are to become female, you must live and work as the female you are.  Not only that, you must be able to prove it in order to get your surgery.  The standards of care require a minimum of 1 year living in your true gender before you can be recommended for surgery.  Some doctors will increase that by another year.  It is not uncommon.  The one thing it absolutely is though, is essential for your success.  If you cannot get through this phase then you will have a failed transition.  This is the true transition.  You must live, work and socialize in your true gender.

Now we can look at cosmetic surgery.  Facial Feminization Surgery isn't a spa weekend in the country.  This is major surgery and with it can come major complications.  It wont turn you from The Hulk into a beauty queen either.  What it will do is soften your features so that you are more androgynous in your appearance.  If you look at your pictures as a teen, this is more in line with the final result you can expect.  It is expensive (about the cost of a new Lexus).  Neither is it for everybody.  Many can pass without this major procedure.  To get this surgery done, you dont need any letters of recommendation from your pdoc. You do need to have the money and the fortitude to take a lot of pain for a couple of weeks.  Pain management today is very good making this far more manageable than in the past.

Let us not forget the beard removal.  This little gem is also expensive and also painful.  It is often said that it truly separates the real t-girls from the wannabes.  You need to be careful here.  Laser is not yet permanent.  This leaves you with electrolysis.  This is as much an art as function by the electrologist.  A good electrologist will use a blended method and keep the shortwave turned way down.  This will reduce the potential for scarring.  It takes time to accomplish this task sometimes as much as 2 years.  It is also recommended that if possible, you should get started before you go on hormones.  It is easier for the electrologist.  Some clinics are offering this process over several weekend long sessions.  The results are mixed because of the rushing and the potential for scarring is often increased.  Find a good electrologist, get started and stick it out.  Going fast is not necessarily going good.

So, now to the SRS.  At this point you should be a minimum of 2 years since you started your transition and at least one year into your RLE.  You need to read and investigate and talk to the different surgeons as much as possible.  They all do things a little differently from one another despite the process (with the notable exception of Dr. Suporn) being generally the same.  Most use the penile inversion technique.  Of course some will not go this far and just opt for an orchiectomy (castration) while others just will stop with HRT and RLE.  There is nothing wrong with this.  However, most surgeons do not want you to have an orchiectomy if you are going to have SRS.  Some will even refuse to do SRS if you have had one.

Now, how old were you when you started your transition?  And how old are you now?  And rushing through accomplished exactly what benefit?  Something to ponder then reconsider and make a plan that is both realistic, and to your well being.  It is your success you are planning.

Kimberley

January 2009