Transgender London

Managing Your Transition

Transition as a process must be managed. It is a simple concept but can become very convoluted if not approached properly. There are of course various opinions about this and all are legitimate, but this writer believes that there is only one person who can effectively manage transition and that is the transitioner him or herself. I believe that putting this process in the hands of others is potentially a set up for failure.

First, every transsexual knows what they are. They dont need someone else to make this determination for them. If they believe they need this affirmation, then they should not be considering transition at the time.

In other articles I have discussed the processes of transition and while they are a general roadmap, the journey each of us takes is different. It is not simple by any means and this is because each person's life and interaction with the world around them is different. My doctors are different as are my friends and family from yours. Their support and reactions will be different and so, they will impact me differently from you because I am different from you. There is no "one size fits all".

In its simplest of terms a manager has 4 responsibilities. They are: Planning, Implementation, Evaluation and Adjustment. Within those 4 areas of responsibility s/he must manage 5 activities: People, places, things, time and money. In a nutshell that is it whether you are managing your vacation or leading a country, those are the basics. To perform these tasks the manager must make every effort to remove him or herself from emotional ties.

The Planning sets out the final objective and defines the milestones for measure in the process. In other words you are working to a timetable that you set for yourself.

The Implementation is the process you follow to meet those goals of the planning.

Evaluation and Adjustment is simply a matter of reviewing the implementation as opposed to the planning then making the appropriate adjustments to meet the goals. It may require making changes to the plan in the way things are implemented or it may mean altering time schedules.

Who Should Be The Manager?

There is only one person who should be managing this, that is YOU! If you hand over any of the responsibilities to another, then you are defeating your goal of transition. You are placing your future in their hands. This means you have to be proactive.

This doesn't mean that others wont influence the process, they will, but in the end, it is your life you are managing and your transition is the plan.

The doctors are the ones who will most influence the time scale you set for yourself. Simply put, if they dont believe you are healthy both physically and mentally, then you will not get the letters you need to go forward. For this reason, it is imperative that you ensure both mental and physical health BEFORE you even begin to contemplate moving forward in transition.

Mental Health

This could mean a few months of therapy or many years, but your mental health must be on solid ground. You will need the tools and coping skills to meet the challenges you are going to face and there will be many. Chief among these will be interpersonal relationships.

Dont ever make the mistake of believing that everyone will accept your changes. The fact is most people will not. They may not say so to your face but out of earshot their opinions may be quite different. People are people and we all have flaws, and prejudices are chief among those flaws. Those who recognize their prejudices are best equipped to deal with them; those who do not see them will not change. This could be family, friends, coworkers, casual acquaintances or just someone you meet in a store or bank. The fact is that society as a whole is not receptive to the transgendered person. This means you MUST have a solid support system in place of people who know you, what you are going through and are prepared to hold your hand while you cry. These could be family, friends, coworkers or peer groups. It doesn't matter who they are, only that when you need them, you can call on their unconditional support.

Most often these people emerge from the shadows when you "come out". Your continued mental health is dependent upon these relationships because you are still fragile while going through transition. Hormone therapies alone can and will most likely shatter your self confidence as you go through puberty, not quite male or female. Without this support system, you can again erect barriers that will set you back mentally. For this singular reason alone, a continued relationship with your counsellor is critical to your well being. Only after the Real Life Experience can you get letters for your surgery, and only your therapist can provide the first of these with a referral to another therapist who will confirm his or her findings and provide the second letter.

You must remain mentally healthy throughout the process to get your letters.

Physical Health

This is monitored by several doctors, your general practitioner and your endocrinologist being the two primary caregivers. Often, mental health is affected by your physical health so maintenance of both is vitally important. It cannot be overlooked at all. It may mean making lifestyle changes you are not comfortable with but again, for your physical safety they must be made in order to reduce complications from medical interventions. Top on this list is the requirement to cease any tobacco use. Of course recreational drugs are an absolute no no at any time; especially during HRT.

Financial Health

Transition is expensive, even with some insurance coverage. Post transition can be no less expensive and similarly needs to have attention paid to it. Prime in this area is the question of; How will you support yourself during and following transition?

Employment is of course the means to maintaining your financial well-being which can affect all others. Involving your employer in your transition is imperative even before you begin. It could mean the difference between working and poverty. It is always a good idea to have a back up strategy in place should your employment end. This might mean self employment if you cannot find work with a trans inclusive employer. Stability here is the key. It is the key to living accommodations, financing your transition and ensuring your post SRS security.

As you can see. only you can manage the process. Giving it over to others is to give over control of your life to meet the needs and expectations of others first and yourself second. Most in the medical and mental health fields will work with you but dont expect them to manage your transition. You should listen to their advice of course, and consider it in your planning but never lose sight of the fact that it is YOUR plan, not theirs, and you are the only one who can make it happen. You need to control the circumstances of your life. To give it up to others is to set yourself up for potential disappointment if not failure. It is your choice.

This site was last updated 08/11/10