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What Is Transition?

“Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.” – Martha Beck

From the above quote transition is a metamorphosis; of sorts.  This really is where all the confusion truly begins, both for the transsexual and for those around him or her.  First, let us establish the fact that for the transsexual, transition really is a period of growth.  The person is growing from the individual they presented to the person they truly are.  This is where the real problems of misunderstanding begin.

The person within is still the same person as before.  S/he will hold the same values and morals. They will still have the same feelings about those around them whether they are love of family or distaste for others.  They have the same mental capacities, creativities, empathy among all human traits.  Nothing has changed; well at least down deep.

To the observer, the person they know is changing into someone they dont know.  At least that is the perception but the truth is just the opposite.  What is changing is their presentation to the world.  Their physical presentation is undeniably changing but that isn't transition contrary to the thoughts of many including many in the transsexual community.  It is their gender role that is changing and that is the true transition.

The transitioner is undergoing change on a social level.  They are relating to others in their true gender.  For the M2F this means they are likely becoming more socialized as a female and for the F2M they are becoming socialized as a male.  This IS transition.  It isn't about hormones or surgery but about living; living in their true gender role which has likely been suppressed for a very long time.

If one examines the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care, a prerequisite of one year's Real Life Experience is called for.  This period is the transitional period.  It is during this time the transitioner must live, work and play in their true gender role.  It is often a time when family and friends are told of the changes.  While the timing of this is a subject of debate it can be said that often they are surprised and felt left out of the decision making processes.

What these people fail to see is that this is not their journey, but a personal journey of the transitioner.  By "coming out" the transitioner is inviting them to share in this journey.  It is their choice to share in the experience and thus make it a positive one or not.  There is nothing they can or will do that will change the mind of the person making the transition.

Often families and friends turn their backs on the person in transition.  This will not in any way dissuade them from continuing their journey but instead reinforces the stereotype of intolerance.  The fact is that love does not conquer all.  If love has a price or condition attached, then one must question the quality of that love or if it was even love in the first place.  So, "disowning" the transitioner does exactly that.  It creates a permanent rift in the relationships that only rarely is recovered; even in part.  It is this action that destroys the trust the transsexual had for his or her family.  So in truth it becomes a two way street with each side distancing itself from the other.

As a part of the Real Life Experience, work is also a requirement and also a major problem for many.  Ontario Human Rights Legislation or equivalent Canadian Legislation does not specifically protect gender discrimination.  It therefore becomes a very grey area in the workplace.  This legislation has been further confused by narrow interpretations in legal decisions where challenges regarding gender have been made.  Self sufficiency is a necessity for the transitioner but often once they come out in the workplace, their jobs are in serious jeopardy.  The net result is often unemployment and unemployable.  This leads to dependency upon the social welfare systems and often the sex trade.

Of course, it need not be that way and some employers are now realizing the benefits to supporting the transgendered person through their transition.  However it requires a multi pronged approach that involves the employer, the transitioner and the other employees.  The situation calls for workplace education and the full support of the HR department where one exists.  Often an outside consultant can provide invaluable assistance in this process because now the workplace is also a part of the transition process and in truth, also undergoing a transition it hadn't expected.

On the social front, the transitioner must now fully integrate their gender role.  This could have multiple directions for learning and even unlearning old mannerisms and behaviours.  Social integration is the ultimate goal for the transitioner.  It can be the difference between a successful transition or a failed one.

All of this and much more must be accomplished for transition.  Then one can realistically look at reconstructive genital surgery.  That is the icing on the cake.  The one thing it isn't, is that it is not transition.  To this point in time, transition has already been accomplished.